Why add Ritual to your Shower Routine?
I was the WORST about showering on autopilot.
Now, before I start, I want to recognize that for some women (Mamas’) just getting to shower is an event in itself. I challenge you to send this article to your partner and ask for support. For me, it was easiest to follow self-care in the shower, tucked away from everyone in the home. This practice allowed me a retreat and a reset that was much needed for my nervous system. To have these tiny reset moments go a long way for your mental health, and I found it a necessary practice once I was able to make ritual a routine.
Back to my autopilot shower days.. body in the shower and my mind everywhere else. I was mentally answering emails, planning meals, re-hashing conversations in my head. I was robbing myself of that small amount of quiet time I had with mental burdens that honestly didn’t matter.
Somewhere along the way, I decided I would incorporate ritual into my routine, and honestly, it literally changed my brain.
Ritual Is Neuroscience
For a long time, I struggled with anxiety. We all do in one form or another. I was introduced to mindfulness, which eventually led me on the path to ritual. We hear a lot about it now. The “woo” and metaphysical aspects make it a fun practice but let me break it down to you in the ways I had to understand it for myself.
Ritual is intentional repetition.
Ritual forces us to slow down our actions. I breathe deeply, light a candle, focus on my breath and let the thoughts come and go; I set my intentions in order to activate new neural pathways, and neuroplasticity becomes my focus.
Here’s what happens:
1. Focus activates the Parasympathetic Nervous System
Your body runs on two major modes:
Sympathetic (fight-or-flight)
Parasympathetic (rest-and-repair)
Most women over 35 live in low-grade fight-or-flight. With today’s technology, busy schedules, and current events, the sympathetic response is inevitable. We are experiencing new technology at a rate that biologically, we have not evolved to handle. Or Grandmothers experienced an evening by natural candlelight, while we are exposed to rapid blinking LED’s, text notifications, and a host of other distracting and unnatural environmental factors that do not in any way signal safety to the brain.
What can signal safety to your brain? Intention. Ritual. Grounding.
Warm water + mindful touch + slow exhale = nervous system shift.
Your heart rate lowers.
Cortisol begins to drop.
Digestion improves.
Muscles soften.
That’s not mystical. That’s biology.
2. Repetition Builds Safety in the Brain
When you repeat a calming ritual nightly with a scent, a candle, a chosen mantra, that routine will send signals to your brain that will associate that pattern with safety.
The amygdala (your threat detector) quiets.
The prefrontal cortex (your decision-making center) regains clarity, and you develop a neurological anchor.
3. Mindfulness Reduces Anxious Thoughts
Mindful sensory engagement brings awareness to your body. This becomes a grounding anchor, making you more present and causing a sense of body safety.
While engaging in a mindful, intentional ritual in the shower, focus on:
lather, and texture- is this a creamy lather? How does the texture linger on your skin? How does your skin feel after you rinse?
Scent notes - What does this scent remind you of? How does it make you feel?
Colors - Is there a mica swirl in the bar? can you make out any objects in the soap? how do the shapes change as you continue to use the bar on a daily basis? How do the visions you see make your body react?
This mindfulness practice will pull your brain out of looping thought the harmful patterns that keep you in a mild fight or flight and bring your awareness to the present moment, triggering the activation of your parasympathetic nervous system, and putting you into rest and digest.
Your attention returns to the present moment.
That present-moment awareness increases serotonin and improves emotional regulation.
Consistent emotional regulation is a proven method to develop new neuropathways in your brain.
What does that even mean??? If you are prone to spiral or panic… your brain learns something new. The safety of the routine and the mindfulness over time will help your brain to avoid jumping into panic. This doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s important we start somewhere.
4. Touch Releases Oxytocin
Gentle, intentional self-touch and mindfulness during a shower will stimulates oxytocin release.
Oxytocin is crucial in stress relief and connectedness. Ritual bathing can literally make you feel more connected and less alone.
If you are anything like me, you don’t realize how touch deprived you actually are. Even with a partner, we are still subject to loneliness at times. Ritual bathing can help and is a crucial to me keeping it together as a single mom.
Why This Matters After 35
After 35, your nervous system has been hit with so many things:
- managing a home
- heartbreak
- work or business stress
- aging parents
- thousands of invisible responsibilities
You are going to bathe anyway (hopefully) despite all of these things, so here is your opportunity.
You can rush a shower or turn it into a retreat and surprisingly, without much added time.
How to Turn a Shower Into Ritual
Things to try:
light a candle. If you have reservations about having an actual flame, I recommend the flameless candles. The Dollar twenty-five store has several!
Introduce a breathing technique.
Choose a scent that links to a memory, or stay consistent with a new scent.
Say one sentence in your head while you lather (“I am safe. I am rebuilding. I am loved. I am grateful for ____”)
That’s it. simple routine additions can have a BIG neurological impact.
Ritual Is Repetition With Meaning
You already shower, but nest time do so in a way that will rewire your brain toward safety.
You deserve it, your family deserves it, and your future self will thank you.
If you would like more guidance on adding ritual to your routine,, check out some of our ritual bath bundles.
